hey. i don’t know how to do this. i am kind of freaking out here. you said and did a couple of things recently which made me think this was coming, but none of that actually prepared me for anything it seems. and now that you’ve walked away i am lost. completely and utterly broken.
i know i didn’t put up a fight this time, i just let you go. i can’t fight you. i can’t argue with you. you say you are unhappy and that you need to go away, presumably to fix that and that it was not for me to fix. what am i supposed to say to that?
i can only assume that your unhappiness is in part because of me, or that the key to your happiness is somehow blocked by my presence in your life.
that cuts me so fucking deep i can’t even put it into words. do you have any idea how much that hurt me? all i have ever wanted from the very first day we met, was to learn more about you and to bring some kind of enrichment to your life. i’ve wanted to be part of your life and you to be part of mine in so many ways, in every way, in all the ways. so, the fact that you need to cut me out to be happy is just… i can’t.
and the no response after, no goodbye, no nothing. i don’t think you could have orchestrated a more magnificent coup de grace if you even tried.
you know i love you, right? like… i’m actually in love with you. i know i have not said those words, what credibility would i have saying them even? i’m a fool. i’m an idiot. i’m a disaster. i am a giant bag of red flags. i have no god damn idea what i am doing. but i do know for certain how i feel about you. i love you.
too little, too late. i get it.
i really, really hope you can find the happiness you are looking for. there is literally not another person on the face of the planet who deserves that more that you.
goodbye my petite laitue.