you know what? i hate this word.
i think mostly because it’s so vague, so bland, so non-descript, so open ended that it provides zero clarity and only insecurity.
it’s a convenient way of telling someone you don’t want to talk or interact with them by leveraging their feelings for you against them and doesn’t require you to offer any explanation whatsoever, you need space to figure that out, right?
it really doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end of that and yet somehow feels incredibly relieving to be on the giving end of that and have it accepted without being challenged too much.
what a selfish construct of interpersonal relationships. i hate it so much.
and so what does one do to fix this? i suppose if you’re the one saying you need space, the kind thing to do is to clarify it as much as possible. why do you need space? what is causing you the need to retreat? how is the space going to help you? how much space do you need? for how long? what are the rules of engagement around this space?
and if you are on the receiving end what do you do? ask these same questions? that doesn’t work unless the requester is in the same mindset, if anything it is completely counter productive to what they are asking for.
“i need to talk to you less”
“okay talk to me more to explain why you need to talk to me less”
eugh… i don’t know. i don’t have any great revelations or insights here. i just hate this word, this concept, this feeling. on both sides of the fence.