Category: :)

whaaaaaaa? holy crap. goal is within reach. i am fucking ecstatic today.

i’ve hit some kind of wall. i have been woefully uninspired to write for a few weeks. i’m not really sure why, it’s as though the previously overflowing feelings and emotions have somewhat subsided, or rather, the source has just become exhausted, or maybe blocked? and now the originally turbulent and rapidly flowing deluge has thinned out to gentle trickle.

i’ve been working on changing my physical appearance to something i like more lately. starting with weight loss, which has been going reasonably well. i still have some work to do in order to reach my goal, but i am confident i can make it by my self imposed deadline. and if i cannot make it in time, i will not give up and consider it a failure, i will just keep trying until i get there. i’ve also been paying a little more attention to my attire. for a long time now it has been zero effort. i just didn’t care. well, screw that. i do care. i purged myself of 2 giant garbage bags worth of old clothing this weekend. and i have purchased for myself a few new items which make me feel good about myself. and i plan on continuing to do so. i am not reinventing myself, just going back to who i used to be a few years back. i’ve also changed my hair cut. not sure on what it will finally end up as, as i still need to grow some out more, but it makes me happy to do so. and then more recently, and most dramatically, i have cut my beard down quite short. shorter than it has been in a decade at least. i like it. reactions from others so far are… interesting. l said he loves it, and gave me a hug. z covered her face and then gave me a reluctant thumbs up. k said she doesn’t like it. c said i look very handsome. a said i look so good. j&k came over last night and they were split on opinions as well. j loves it. he says it took 15 years off me and just looking at me makes HIM feel younger. k thinks it is too short, but said not much else.

all part of some big plan to make lemonade, right?

anyhow… that’s what’s happening right now. i’m sure my creative writing juices will be replenished soon. i the mean time, i will make little updates here and there… and perhaps shitpost a little too.

edit: i almost forgot! last night i cooked a fucking spectacular thanksgiving feast.

rainy day, everyone is low energy so we cancelled our tour and decided to just relax in and around the apartment.

lots of napping and tv, punctuated by beer.

walking tour of the castle and castle grounds today. although very impressive and interesting, I’ve already done this tour a couple times and the fatigue from the day before is really affecting the other guys.

still did about 15k steps of touring with a guide but just after lunch we called it quits, had a few beers and something to eat and then headed back to the apartment to meet up with a (prague a)

the late afternoon was spent in a lovely beer garden where I got seriously lost in my own head for a bit. there was a couple at the table next to us that captivated me. the way she smiled at him, the way he gently touched her hand, the way they laughed together… argh. i couldn’t help but stare and be envious. thankfully they were so focused on each other that the whole world could be staring and they would never have even noticed.

finally when it was time to leave the beer garden we headed out to dinner at a steak house I had been to before. It was just as good as I remembered. Everyone I think thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

as a nightcap we finally relented and brought j to a gentleman’s club. despite my AMPLE warnings about what they are like and what to expect, he still got upset and angry about it. It’s too expensive, they’re too pushy, it’s all fake…

no shit dude. It’s a tourist trap strip club. I fucking told you exactly what would happen, how much it would cost and what to expect the whole time you’re there, and when EXACTLY that happens you get pissy about it? Hahaha gimme a break.

e also couldn’t handle it and faked a work emergency as soon as we got there.

oh well.

on a more positive note, plans to visit a are coming together. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I don’t want to say much about it and jinx everything though. I’m excited.

so much… stick to the highlights, steve.

wonderful tour that a took us on. 20k steps around prague. visited a variety of spots, most notable, at least for me, were the anthropoid church and u fleku.

evening was something. j spilled his guts to us. i’m not going to air his dirty laundry, but suffice it to say, he and i have some things in common. i shared some of my secrets in return. i’m not sure how i feel about that this morning. if nothing else, i know m sees me differently now and j pities me. both not things i want. e, despite clearly having something to say, chose not to. i worry that what was said will find its way back to ears it was never intended for. nothing to be done about it now i suppose.

night time was hilariously frustrating. j would not shut up about bringing us all to a gentleman’s club, which i warned him repeatedly were NOT like those back home. yet he insisted relentlessly. we walked around prague 1 for a few hours, walking past several and j repeatedly got cold feet only to announce he ‘knew of a better place’ and then started following google maps in the most drunkenly way possible once more.

in the end, there was shawarma. which was probably for the best 🙂

note: currently struggling with internet access so this post may be incomplete or just fucking broken until i get this sorted.

it has begun! getting to the airport was… interesting. taxi driver was one hell of a mad lad. speeding, jumping lanes, weaving in and out of traffic, you name the traffic violation, he did it. the cab was also an olfactory violation. i guess on the plus side, i got there in record time!

passed the time chatting with a (thank you!) and then finally when j and m showed up we sailed through security and then hit up the pub for a pleasant afternoon of food and drink. e showed up fashionably late, as is his nature, and then it was 10 hours of maximum discomfort, crammed into a giant metal tube, screaming through the skies. no sleep for me.

arriving in prague could not have gone any better. private transport from the airport, driver had beers waiting for us in the immaculately clean van which whisked us to the apartment we’ll be calling home for the next few days.

the view from the apartment is great!

beers, beers, plum brandy, beers and then more beers.

seeing a (prague a, not the other a) again is great. even though i see him on video conference every day at work, it’s not the same.

we went out for one of his friend’s birthday celebration, not what i was expecting for sure… it was a bunch of people he knew from a long time ago, many of which were quite elderly actually. but it was good anyways! italian restaurant with ridiculous portion sizes.

after eating waaaay too much and drinking another several beers, it was finally bed after i don’t even know how many consecutive hours of no sleep.

in 2 days i’m leaving. i’m beyond excited, but trying to contain myself. i can’t even remember the last time i did something like this for just me. i’ve been fortunate enough to travel quite a bit in recent years, but it’s always been for work, or with family. although i am not *alone* on this trip, i am going with a bunch of friends and as such i don’t have to worry about taking care of anyone, or watching what i say or what i do, i can be me. well 99% me. there is always going to be that 1% i have to hold back because reasons. but that’s way better than the 50-100% i have to hold back in other scenarios.

i know j is losing his fucking mind. in a lot of ways, i think we’re going through very similar things right now, but because of the intertwined nature of our lives, we don’t talk about it. which sucks. i wish i could talk to my best friend about everything. anyhow, i know he’s super fucking excited about this trip and he needs it as much as i do.

m is excited, but i think he’s nervous. he has not travelled much at all. in fact, this will be the first time he leaves north america. i am so delighted that he has joined my circle of friends and i am so happy to be the instigator of this experience for him.

e is being his usual self. no excitement, no organization, no nothing. if i didn’t know better, i would assume he doesn’t want to even go. but i do know better, i know him. he doesn’t want to let himself be happy about this until he’s in the moment itself. he’s always been that way. i am really glad he’s joining us.

last night i had a really good talk with a as well. i learned new and important things. things i can’t really do anything about directly, but maybe indirectly i can make some kind of impact on. at least i hope so, because it’s important. also, the plan to achieve a shared goal was started. and i am fucking pumped.