i suppose it was to be expected. there’s a reason why this all happened and that wasn’t going to change. i’m not sure what i had expected.
still, i hope, i wish for, i pray that we can at least find some kind of middle ground to make it through this to the other side without completely hating each other.
i am trying to help you, i know you don’t see it, because all you see right now is how i am hurting you, but if you take a moment and look at what i am doing, what i am saying, you’ll see that i have very much put aside any feelings or emotions or needs or wants that i have right now and i am working only on what you want, save one major exception.
how upside down is that?
and then when you actually use that against me and say things like you did last night before we both went to bed, how am i supposed to react?
it feels like you would actually rather that i start a fight with you. you would rather have me be an asshole, a jerk, a monster to you. i suppose that would make it easier, possibly for both of us, wouldn’t it? but you’re forgetting one thing, one very important thing. if we go to war with each other, the children get stuck in the cross fire. i’m not going to permit that. i am not going to go down that road.
so if that means i need to be on the receiving end of your snide, demeaning, mean or vindictive commentary, so be it. i’ve been able to survive long enough in that environment, i can continue to survive a bit longer.