i’m terrified to admit it, even here in this private place. writing out the words that express how i feel seems impossible. paralyzing even.
whether i confess or not, whether i write it down or say it aloud, the feelings and thoughts are there. i know this, and yet, i am still scared to write it down, as if writing it will somehow change things.
but maybe, just maybe, it will change something? maybe i need to put it out there and let the words previously only in my head take their own place in the world? maybe i also need to tell you explicitly, even though i thought it was obvious. perhaps it isn’t.