so many things are held together with flimsy pieces of tape or bubble gum. when it’s all working smoothly it’s barely noticeable, things are happening, things are working, everything is moving forward.
but the moment things started coming apart, a closer scrutiny was needed. a tiny thread was pulled and it started unraveling something bigger which led to another lose bit which flaked off too easily which revealed another part with big rust holes which highlighted another thing which was installed upside down from the factory that in turn revealed a whole bunch of other parts that were out of alignment and slowly the whole thing has become rather overwhelming.
i don’t know how to fix all of this. i’m trying. there are so many things which i am improving. there are so many things which i am repairing. there are so many things which i am rebuilding from the ground up… but every day something new is revealed, a new set of problems, a new issue that can no longer be ignored…
one step forward and two steps back…
i wonder when that will reverse? it will start getting better, right? at some point? all of this effort can’t be for naught.