back in july i decided to try out online therapy. i went in a skeptic, and to be honest, i still am but… BUT…. i understand the value of this kind of thing a little more now.
so, the funny thing i’ve learned about therapy, is that it is only as good as your therapist, and then also, even if your therapist is amazing, if you don’t want to do it, it’s still going to suck. at least for you, at that specific point in time.
another interesting thing… no one has ever talked to me about their own therapy experiences, until i told them i was trying it myself. so… there is some possibly unintentional gatekeeping involved with this too. likely because most people will consider this something they need to do because something is wrong with them (a negative thing), not because they want to better themselves for the sake of betterment (a positive thing).
in learning about other people’s experiences i have to say i feel rather fortunate to have met my therapist, linda. unlike some of the horror stories i heard about other people’s therapists, linda’s approach was overwhelmingly pleasant. maybe even too much at times, which really is the only genuine criticism i have. it made it feel very fake at first. she’s very much been my biggest cheerleader, my biggest fan, my biggest source of encouragement about everything. so much so that i found myself kind of calling her out on it and ultimately arguing whatever the appropriate counterpoint would be with myself, while she cheers on both sides.
in the end… that’s maybe what her plan was all along because it’s been quite helpful for me and over the last few months. i have developed a habit of kind of doing that exact thing on my own now. it doesn’t always work, sometimes i get myself caught in some kind of loop, but many other times, the thing, whatever it is, ends up getting resolved in my head, all on my own. neat!
that said, i’m finding myself in a spot now with this where i kind of know what linda is going to say when i tell her something and so our conversations are more like friends catching up, except very one sided. and the problem with that is that it is a rather expensive one sided friendship. i don’t really want to put an end to this, because i actually really like my therapist, but i can’t justify the cost anymore. at least not right now.
so tomorrow will be my last session with linda for now. would i recommend better help? yeah, i think so. the platform works well and if you find yourself a decent therapist to talk to, it can be pretty helpful. they make it easy to switch therapists whenever you want, so you can flip flop around until something clicks.