hey, why can’t i get you out of my head? this weekend i caught myself daydreaming a few times and it was entirely about you. i thought about little comments you made here and there that likely meant nothing at all to you, but my stupid head has decided to overinflate into some kind of meaningful sign or something. a compliment, a thank you, even just asking me about something that you knew was important to me. all over analyzed and picked apart in an effort to justify something that doesn’t exist.
writing this out, i clearly recognize the mental mountains i am making from molehills, like seriously, polite banter isn’t that deep. despite knowing and recognizing that, my less logical thoughts continue to betray me.
i wish we could have met under different circumstances. circumstances that would have allowed for something a little more normal. could we have actually been friends? do we have enough in common? do we have anything in common?
i want to believe so, but my judgement is clearly not to be trusted, so maybe i am just fooling myself again.
edit: i am so mad at myself right now. i did the thing i told myself i wouldn’t. it was only for a literal second and i feel like my chest is about to explode.