the other day i wrote about birthdays and my somewhat cynical attitude towards my own. seems like this year will be no exception. :/
- j said he wanted to cook for me on my birthday last weekend, today he cancelled.
- my mother sent me a happy birthday text on the wrong day.
- no word from g, he’s leaving the province for good in 3 days.
- tomorrow i get to be dragged along to the in-laws so k can visit with her ailing dad and brother who is in town from abroad.
- kids have friends sleeping over so i get to cook dinner for even more people.
so, exactly what i was hoping for. hahaha!
i guess it’s not really fair to just talk about the bad though. not everything is terrible.
band practice today was good, unfortunately p couldn’t make it though. even with one guitar down, it went pretty smoothly. we’ve nearly got the pretender down, so that’s something. i also FINALLY went and purchased a new drum throne. we’ll see how long this one lasts. i think i have a bad habit of rocking back and forth when playing that ends up causing these things to fail prematurely. i’m not going to stop though… just need to find one that can withstand the punishment without getting loose or bending.
also got the rough body for the SG build. i have a good feeling about this one. haven’t started anything, but for sure this week i’ll be spending too much time in the garage sanding once more.
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writing this out i’m coming to the realization that something has changed. not long ago i was writing to myself. or maybe conversing with myself? i was angry, confused, ashamed, upset, conflicted… and the dialogue here had a very different tone. now it almost feels like i am writing to someone else to let them know what is going on instead of vomiting out whatever fucked up thoughts were in my head. i guess in the last month things have changed. for the better? i definitely feel less lonely. less isolated. there are a small handful of people i am talking to regularly now and it has made a world of difference in my overall mood. i’m really thankful to have these people in my life. i hope my presence in theirs has been beneficial to them in some way too.