should i consider my recent lack of motivation to write a good thing, or a bad thing?
i’m not sure.
on one hand, typically i write when i feel like my head or heart might explode. it’s a pressure relief system. its an outlet which lets me express how i am feeling so it doesn’t eat me alive.
so now on the other hand, i am not feeling so motivated to write lately… does that mean there is less pressure to relieve? does that mean i am feeling better? does that mean i am starting to be happy and feel less tortured?
i’m not sure.
yesterday a friend of mine came to pick up l to bring him on a hike with her son. when they got back she came in to chat for a quick minute and asked me if i was feeling happier, because i looked happier. am i happier?
i’m not sure.
a lot of things which i can’t quite put my finger on it seems…
there are some things which i am sure of though. for example, my stress level is down and my hope for the future is up.
in a couple weeks a will be coming to visit. i am really, really looking forward to that. i feel like it will kind of determine what happens and what is prioritized for the rest of this year.