things are slowly starting to get better. it’s the initial impact that seems to be the worst part every single time, the initial reaction. then once absorbed and processed slightly, it dulls a bit, becomes much less sharp.
between k and i things are slowly starting to return back to “normal” in the sense that we’re slowly returning back to the same way we’ve been for YEARS now, but without the denial around the disfunction. which is actually what i think we both need to move forward. we have a very close group of friends to break the news to, ideally together, starting with e&c later today, though their daughter already spilled the beans, so we’ll see how that goes. i’m also going to go with k to some open houses to be helpful and supportive. the housing market is almost as bad as the car market has been for the past few years. things are all over the place. there are deals to be had, but there are scams and rip offs everywhere.
the kids’ initial reaction was devastating to me. i’ve never felt that kind of hurt before. i don’t ever want to do that again. the way it all went down, in hindsight, was kind of stacked against me from the start. i was the the one doing all the talking, i was the bad guy breaking the news, i was the one who immediately was assumed to be the perpetrator of this situation entirely… and mom was the good cop. she came in with the comfort after the damage was done. neither kid would talk to me until the next day. that really hurt.
with l, things are going a bit better now. we went for a nice walk yesterday and he’s still a little sad, but coming around to the realization that not much is going to change for him, other than he will have a second house.
z on the other hand… i don’t know. she was already so full of piss and vinegar that i can’t really tell how she feels about anything. at the very least, she’s no longer giving me the silent treatment, but she’s not really saying much. i’m going to keep trying.